Every girl has had that one guy that just didn't/doesn't how to kiss. This guy was by far the worst. No matter what I tried, he wouldn't get the hint and just kept doing his thing. I literally just had to hold my mouth there and wait for him to be done. He was into it and passionate about it, but just nothing. I bring him up because he found me on another site and memories, oh memories came flooding back. He only got 2 dates. He's memorable for 2 reasons; 1. he's a crappy kisser and 2. the way we made out. #1 is the reason reason why he never got to date 3.
We had a nice dinner and hung out on his rooftop becuase it was a really nice summer night. Long story short we ended up in his apt. We kept clothes on and he decides to dry hump me and stare at himself the whole time in his mirrored sliding closet door. I guess he was storing images for his spank bank? You may be wondering why I allowed it to happen. I was shocked and amused. And it was comical to see how serious his face was while he was doing his thing. He was damn serious about it. He had his Oh face on. So I couldn't have taken sex with him seriously after that.
Morale of the story: Not every guy is a good kisser and some guys can't be trained. Don't go back to their place unless you have the intention of making out.
Friday, November 23, 2012
Too much???
Ok, so I emailed this guy my number around 11:20pm.
He actually texts me at 11:30pm saying hi and again a few minutes later saying this is so and so from ... (Dude, it's 11:30 at night and I have to work) so I didn't respond.
I texted him the next day around 10 saying hi, sorry i passed out last night. how's your day going?
He replies with his day is great, how's my day going, and that's cool he understands that I passed out. He then calls me a few minutes later. I didn't answer.
I then text him to tell him I'm at work and can't talk now, that my day is pretty busy.
He says ok I didn't think you would answer since I knew you were probably working. i just wanted to call and leave a vm saying hi. (which is sweet).
Me - aww thanks.
Him - my pleasure, check my vm when you get the chance.
He sends me a photo of him at the gym (Not a very good one, kind of looks hulkish but not in a good way, like the neanderthal way)
11:09am - I'm at denny's now - (really? after you just worked out? No offense to people who like denny's but imo it's only acceptable to eat there when trying to prevent a hangover.) As my friend put it, "I love Denny's = we'll never go to a decent restaurant."
11:20am - Would you like to get together and go to Panera for lunch for our first date? - (Panera? Really? A lunch 1st date? Guess it's better than Denny's)
I replied back a few hrs later, ok
5:45p - what time do you get off usually? (Really? Isn't it too early to ask this?)
Me - a few hrs later, usually around 5.
7:35p - what day would you like to see me? What is your availability?
10:08p - are you busy? I haven't heard back from you this evening? (Hello! It's Friday night! of course I'm busy)
10am the next day I get a phone call. I ignore it cuz it's 10am on the weekend! he lvm.
11:18a - I called you this am and left you a vm
I texted him a while later and told him he was coming on too strong, too fast and I wasn't interested anymore. He replied with "Ok, np" Not that I'm complaining, but that's it?
I feel like a dude saying this, but slow your roll man. He also called me sweetie alot which made me feel uncomfortable. He is a part time receptionist so he apparently has ALOT of free time on his hands. He could have been going ot school, but he didn't mention it in his profile. And that's 1 way how not to get a 1st date. I can't imagine what it would have been like had i actually started dating him. Maybe like this...
He actually texts me at 11:30pm saying hi and again a few minutes later saying this is so and so from ... (Dude, it's 11:30 at night and I have to work) so I didn't respond.
I texted him the next day around 10 saying hi, sorry i passed out last night. how's your day going?
He replies with his day is great, how's my day going, and that's cool he understands that I passed out. He then calls me a few minutes later. I didn't answer.
I then text him to tell him I'm at work and can't talk now, that my day is pretty busy.
He says ok I didn't think you would answer since I knew you were probably working. i just wanted to call and leave a vm saying hi. (which is sweet).
Me - aww thanks.
Him - my pleasure, check my vm when you get the chance.
He sends me a photo of him at the gym (Not a very good one, kind of looks hulkish but not in a good way, like the neanderthal way)
11:09am - I'm at denny's now - (really? after you just worked out? No offense to people who like denny's but imo it's only acceptable to eat there when trying to prevent a hangover.) As my friend put it, "I love Denny's = we'll never go to a decent restaurant."
11:20am - Would you like to get together and go to Panera for lunch for our first date? - (Panera? Really? A lunch 1st date? Guess it's better than Denny's)
I replied back a few hrs later, ok
5:45p - what time do you get off usually? (Really? Isn't it too early to ask this?)
Me - a few hrs later, usually around 5.
7:35p - what day would you like to see me? What is your availability?
10:08p - are you busy? I haven't heard back from you this evening? (Hello! It's Friday night! of course I'm busy)
10am the next day I get a phone call. I ignore it cuz it's 10am on the weekend! he lvm.
11:18a - I called you this am and left you a vm
I texted him a while later and told him he was coming on too strong, too fast and I wasn't interested anymore. He replied with "Ok, np" Not that I'm complaining, but that's it?
I feel like a dude saying this, but slow your roll man. He also called me sweetie alot which made me feel uncomfortable. He is a part time receptionist so he apparently has ALOT of free time on his hands. He could have been going ot school, but he didn't mention it in his profile. And that's 1 way how not to get a 1st date. I can't imagine what it would have been like had i actually started dating him. Maybe like this...
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Pick up Lines...
This actually happened to me back at the club. I was on my way to the bathoom, when this guy asked me if it hurt? I'm like what? When you fell from heaven? I said No. Then he said God must have brought you to me. I said no, God sent me to someone else and I left. As I leaving the bathroom, I heard him using the same line on someone else. Classic. So ladies, have they ever been used on you? What's the best you've heard?
Roses are Red, Violets are Blue...
So I received this gem a few days ago...
"It is scientifically proven that sugar can dissolve in water, so please don't go outside when it is raining, because you are the sweetest in the whole world. It was raining when you were born, heaven was crying because it lost its precious angel." hello dear how are you doing? I wouldn't mind knowing you more babe, please can you tell me about your self?"
Ok, I responded out of curiosity. I just said thanks and what would you like to know? This came from someone in Europe. My profile does say I'm from the US. So mind you I'm not sure what he expects to happen if something were to actually develop.
His response, " I wish my eyes could speak what my heart feels for you, cause my lips can lie on what is true. My eyes couldn't cause even if I close them I could still see you. Are you married have kids, what do you do for a living?"
He also gave me his name, age and profession and said "am looking for a good girl who can really show me what love is all about, i wish to know you more for an serious issue, pls tell me more about your self."
The line, looking for a girl to show me what love is all about reminds me of a song, I think it's I wanna know what love is. Anyone else think that? Ok, for reals?! You have never met me and you literally just started talking to me. Layin on too thick to the point it's fake. Come on now. We all love to be romanced but at least get to know me a bit 1st. I just keep thinking, how many times has he copied and pasted this msg? Am I being cynical, sure. Wouldn't you be? And I'm not a babe. I'm a woman, babe is when you feel more comfortable with someone. You started out great, all sweet and nice and then ruined it with babe. A for effort, but it's just too thick, too soon.
Hello...
At the request of many of my friends I have started a blog about my adventures in internet dating. You can't make these stories up; the people I meet and the experiences I've had. So I'm penning them down for a good laugh and a good read. I've been on POF, Match and OkCupid. None of these posts are in chronological order.
You may be wondering why a lotus? In Buddhism, the lotus is a prominent symbol that represents the progress of your spiritual self. The roots of a lotus are in the mud, the stem grows up through the water, and flower lies on the surface of the water. The roots of this flower are strong enough to allow the flower to sit on the surface. In this case I'm applying the imagery to my personal quest to find love thru internet dating sites. We all have to wade thru the mud to reach the surface, kiss a few frogs before finding our prince, etc.
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