This was a 1st date. This date only lasted about an hr.
Things not to say or do before a 1st date:
1. So do you drink? Are you a lightweight?
a. I reply, yes I'm a lightweight. Don't come back with "Oh, so you're a one drink and you're tipsy kind of girl?" That just screams one of the following:
1. How many drinks will it take to get you into my bed?
2. Guess I can leave my roofies at home for this date
3. Wow, sweet! I'm gonna score tonight and it's not gonna cost me alot.
2. When someone says let's do dinner at 8, don't eat before, leaving that person to eat their meal by themselves.
3. Don't go to HH and and get tipsy before said 1st date. What happened to making a great 1st impression? I know I went home; showered again, picked a cute outfit and wore makeup. What did you do? Oh, wait I guess he drank me cute.
Things not to say or do during the 1st date, and I realize these were said because he was drunk:
1. "What kinds of boyfriends do you like?"
a. What do you mean? How many different kinds are there?
b. "You know the ones that cuddle".
c. Aren't all boyfriends supposed to cuddle?
2. "I know exactly the kind of guy you want, but I'm not gonna tell you"
a. What kind of guy do I want?
b. "I'm not gonna tell you"
c. I know what kind of guy I want, what kind of guy do you think I want?
d.. "Why do you keep asking me? You already told me. But I'm not gonna tell you." (WTF)
3. "I know you. I know what you're all about"
a. How can you already know me? We haven't even been here for an hour?
b. "We've been texting, and I just know you" (we had only been texting for 2 days prior to this, and nothing deep, just the basics)
4. "I'm really glad I decided to show up for this date. I've been dating lots of girls and I just didn't feel that spark with them It's so hard to make a connection with girls lately. Usually if I don't like a girl, I just leave. No point in wasting 2 hrs on dinner with her. I mean I'm a gentleman and I pay and all See you must be special I'm still here" (Why thank you for gracing me with your delightful presence! I guess I should be thankful he gave me another blog entry)
5. "You didn't disappoint me." (That's really a backhanded compliment, thanks! Too bad I was!)
6. "The girls in this area are simple and selfish. I used to be selfish, but I'm not anymore. I realize I need to give more of myself to make that deeper connection." (says the guy with over 100 photos of his face in his profile pics folder on fb. I have 10 photos of myself in my profile pics folder. All of his photos are literally the same face and semi duckface too. Guys shouldn't let other guys do duckface unless its a joke photo. And they are all face photos, no torso shots or full body shots. So it's the same face just different backgrounds and clothing. I realize it's fb, but that stuff girls do.)
6. "I'm just too picky." (No, there's a difference between being picky and having standards and just being a dickhole. You sir, are a dickhole.)
7. "Girls lately just haven't been taking dating seriously. It's hard to make a serious connection." (says the guys who comes to the date drunk. Even though we agreed, 8pm dinner)
8. "You look like the kind of girl that attracts alot of attention. Are you loyal?" (I was not dressed like a whore or anything. I have an ass, a black girl one. I'm not supposed too. So yes, people naturally look in wonder and amazement. Really? Am I loyal just because I get stared at? Of course I am! I have been cheated on, I know what it feels like. I wouldn't put someone thru the things I have been through.)
9.. Do NOT eat your date's food. Especially when you specifically didn't order food and told me at the time I ordered that you already ate. 1/2 way thru my meal, just a meal no appetizer, he asks to try my food. Trying = 2-3 bites at most. That's fine try some. Don't start eating it with me. Then when there is 1/4 left and I left to go to the bathroom. When I got back after a pee bathroom break, my food was gone! He ate the rest of my dinner!! That was it. The date was over for me. So I asked for the check while he went to the bathroom. The check came and I put my card in. I didn't care I wanted out that bad. He came back and fortunately gave me my card back and put in his and mumbled "Since I ate your food". Damn right, wtf. This also kills me because while we were waiting for a table, he asked when was the last time I ate. I told him 12 and he says "Oh yea, you look hungry." Wtf. How does one LOOK hungry? So the date ended around 9:30.
He offered to walk me to my car, which I thought was a sweet gesture. However he ruined it and revealed his true intentions by saying, "Are you shy? You look like the shy type." (No, sweetie, you just aren't getting lucky. I'm shutting this shit down!) I told him I was going to go my friend's house because i needed to help her and probably pass out. I wish I could say this was the end of all of this. He clearly viewed the date very differently than I did. He posted a picture on fb of a drink at 10, so he kept drinking.
9:54pm - Hey! I had a great time tonight! Your cool. Hope you hear from you soon!
I replied at 10:15 - Thanks! You too! I'll text ya later.
10:20 - Your very attractive. I must admit I am glad to have spent some time with you. I don't like to play games so let's do this again ok?
10:38 - Text me later tonight? I'll be up....
12:05 - A phone call, but I didn't answer. The vm icon came up but when I went to check it he didn't leave a message.
2am - pokes me on fb
The next am I was up and at my cousin's holiday party at 10am. I was on fb liking photos and I shared a photo of something I saw that was very disgraceful. It generated alot of convo. He's of course awake and reading everything. He changed his profile pic, so I would see it in my newsfeed.
11:55am via fb - Hey whats' up? I called really late last night not knowing what time it was! Lol. Anyways hit me up.
11:58 via text - Good morning! What are you up to?
12:01pm - I wanted to know how you felt about our meeting last night. How did you feel about it etc. I like to be open and frank with people and I was curious to know how your felt.
I replied at 12:05 - I'm visiting family I can answer later. (I even posted photos of my little cousin, so he could see it and leave me alone)
He replies right away - It's cool. Your keeping me in suspense. Lol. Give me a call later and we can talk about it.
So throughout the day I was on fb checking stuff and he was constantly posting stuff. He posted why do nice guys always finish last? (Nice guys don't show up drunk to 1st dates and ask a bunch of dumb questions because they are drunk and they don't finish off their date's food when they didn't order anything because they already ate!!) So after my cousin's party I went to my friend's holiday party and was with them all day. We played with a new puppy, ate dinner together and we watched a movie. A friend tagged me in a bunch of photos so he would have seen I was still with my friends, all day. He even "liked" a photo of the puppy I posted.
8:40pm - Hey, it doesn't seem like your interested in talking to me today. I hope you have a good night. I'll catch you later.
After I got out of the movie, I replied at 9:35 - Seriously?? I'm still out with my friends. I was in a movie. I just got out. Not that I should have to explain myself to you. I have to stop what I'm doing with my friends to type this to you.
He rpelies right away - "Babe you told me you were gonna get back to me. Now I'm with my friend and I can't talk anymore. I guess I was really hoping to speak with you today."
I replied right away - 1st of all I'm not your babe. Yea, I was going to when I had a chance. I haven't. I have been with family and friends all day.
Then he has the audacity to say - "You don't have to get mad at me."
I said - We don't need to talk tomorrow. I'm not interested in seeing you again. You came drunk to our date and ate my food. (I could have texted more but that basically sums it up. I was so livid at this point I couldn't see straight)
He just replies - Ok, that's fine. Goodbye.
Morale of this date: Don't show up drunk. It doesn't make a great impression on someone you are trying to seriously date and for the love of God; don't eat her food when you didn't order anything because you didn't take the date seriously to begin with. Why should I take the date and you seriously when you didn't?
*UPDATE* I didn't think I would have to do one, but apparently he's a stalker and can't let it go.
I didn't hear from him all day Sunday, since Saturday he said Goodbye. Monday, different story.
3:22pm - Why did you delete me from fb? Why are you mad at me for paying for dinner? Am I that much of a jerk to you? (Seriously?! I'm not mad you paid! You should have! You ate my food! And didn't order anything for yourself! I told you why I wasn't interested.)
3:38pm - I am not a bad guy, I wish you would understand that.
3:45pm - Sends me a fb friend request. (I wish fb had a you-have-been-rejected button)
5:19pm - Can we just talk this through?
6:09pm, via fb - Please don't ignore me anymore
my cell phone doesn't tell me what time people lvm, but I also got a vm asking me to call him or text him so we can work through this. I was at the gym and didn't get out til 7:30.
6:11pm - Look it was my fault that I didn't give you a good impression but I don't want to be ignored anymore. Please give me another chance. (Seriously!? "I" don't want to be ignored anymore!?! Selfish much??! How about I'm sorry I was such an inconsiderate, lazy, selfish douche bag?? Look at these 1/2 ass selfish responses! And you want a second chance, no thanks. I actually want a man not a delusional little boy who probably thinks he has a 12 inch penis in his happy little world..)
Wow, seriously!? Who would have thought?? So Thursday, I get an email via the dating website from him. "This will be my last message
to you. I just ask for your forgiveness and to let me have another
proper date with you. I deserve a second chance with you."